Fi Fly Fo Fum. Dum Dee Di Dumb.

We are living in a world that everybody thinks they know about life because they have met with some down tides before.

Naturally, their every sentence will ring with philosophical terms along with poetic arrangements to it.

Bunch of noob ass that doesn't know anything about anything. I hate.

Especially those who impose their views on you.

Just because you have had bad experiences in life doesn't mean you have the right to pollute the younger generations with your skewed and skeptic mindset.

You can always advice and give a pointer or two, but to misguide and then corrupt the very essence of purity of a young person's growing perspective is just overboard.

Mistake have no master, it belongs to everyone.

That is correct, while you are thinking that you are perfect, you are capable to screw up the next second. For all you know, you probably are screwing up right now!

Or you are so screwed up and realize that you are, that is why you are trying to screw everything up for everybody around you?

Fi Fly Fo Fum. Dum Dee Di Dumb.

Or I am but just another noob ass who thinks I know it all.

Every effing pun intended.

Help. Gastric. Pain. Ouch.

*ouch*

Updates on March!

My birthday was a peaceful one. Spent lunch with my lovely girlfriend and at night had a simple meal with mom and dad and a simple cake cutting ritual.

Cake was awesome, American Chocolate. Delicious!

Birthday aside, I have started going back to CG lately and am enjoying myself in the presents of God loving and fearing people. Something that I have neglected for quite a while now, wonder why I went MIA in the first place. Work, tiredness… etc, I think none of the excuses sounds right to me now.

Work have been getting slow lately. Worries me since I’m still under probation and if were to change job, it would be rather tough unless if I deviates from my current field. No point thinking about it now though, a step at a time.

I’m getting fatter by the day! I was alarmed with I notice my belly is developing exceptionally well; hence it triggered me to pay the gym a visit. Will start to jog or hitting the gym frequently from now on, no way in hell that I want to have the same size belly as my dad! NEVER!

Had a good chat with Metal recently about life and about almost everything under the sun. To conclude our conversation, I think all men are the same despite intelligence or experience. Only men will understand men. Even if it meant risking myself sounding like a gay but it is very true. We can understand each other’s worries without having to say much.

Oh well, am sick and hungry now. Shivering in the office even after I put on my jacket. Can’t wait till lunch time. Roar!

Maths!

*click to enlarge*

And I thought I was the only one with bad instincts while doing math. I guess the tiger is not very far off from me.

=.="

In the mood to write

It is told that never mingle around people who are unequally yolk too much because some how or rather, these people will drag you down to their level in due time. The process is so gradual that even after it happens, you’ll only be realizing it after your knees went too deep.

Many of you might be having a judgmental opinion on the above paragraph - Arrogant. But I can assure you, it is nothing more but a sincere advice. Surely those who have been through such situation can attest to that. I for one, as non excellent as I am do fully agree with such an advice.

People from different backgrounds often have these presets of view towards one another. Most of the time I find myself guilty for having such negative and unfair views embedded in me, it doesn’t even take me a blink of an eye to open my mouth and start spewing rubbish. Even though some of the time I might be correct, but it is the attitude of it that I despise myself for having. Sometimes I wonder if it is that important to be correct all the time.

Hate myself the most when the irrationality part of me dies down and when I start to recall back all that happened in the day. Most of the time I would regret for having a more efficient mouth rather than a more efficient brain since all the negativity that comes out does not build nor construct but tears down and destroys.

It is fascinating that 9 out of 10 people that I know have this “disease”, yet it is not entirely incurable. All we need is to be discipline in holding our tongues and have a more positive mindset towards life. That should do the trick. However to some, they are too warped in the space of negativity that they will never come back.

Sad huh?

Not really.

Since the solutions above mainly rely on ones discipline, there is this other element called faith. Faith entrusted to the mighty God Himself. Much practice is required before I can call myself a man with the faith of a mustard seed. With so much of distractions, laziness, compromising and complacency going around, faith and prayer would be the only weapon against all which is not of constructiveness.

Writer’s note:

Wasn’t too sure how to put down into words for the thoughts that have been running in my mind, this is the best that I can do for a little part of it. So till I can record down all that is locked away in my mind “vault”, take care and have a nice evening.

Happy CNY (Belated)

Wow...

It is already approaching the third week in my new job and from my last entry till now much have happened.

Too much to tell too little time but nonetheless, these experiences are priceless. Not all are enjoyable but like I always say:" It is all part of the growing up process."

So far have not done anything BIG for my new job yet. Nope. Wonder if there will be any this year. Market is bad but if this job does not bring any satisfaction at all in terms of experience and knowledge gaining, it is time to resend out my resume again after a year since it is not offering any monetary satisfactory in the first place.

Even though the hiring manager tells me that the job is as exciting as I want it to be, but hey, how "Exciting" things will get with limited budget, limited authority, and as well as limited staff size? I don't even feel nice requesting the company to send me off for a trainings.

Maybe I should just be patient and wait till the end of year to see what springs up.

Happy Chinese New Year by the way! Even though it is already over but its the thought that counts right?

Oh well, back to looking busy in my humble cubicle. It is green in color by the way. Will take some pictures soon. Won't want to look like a lunatic taking pictures when all my colleagues are around busy with their tasks.

Ciaozoo.

Happy New Year!

1st Jan 2009 came and went like a breeze.

Many things had happened from Dec 08 till Jan 09, it is as though circumstances and incidents took over life rather than me being on top of these factors and charting my voyage with careful considerations. However, in the end things seems to be running pretty alright.

Michelle and I have took several leaps in our relationship, many things have taken place without our planning pulling us closer to each other and yet at times it does feel surreal since having a girlfriend at 25 is not something that I have anticipated.

Relationship is not always smooth sailing - I use to know this for a fact but now after experiencing it first hand, it brings a whole lot a different meaning to the statement. Relationship is definitely a handbook that encompasses many of life's lesson.

There is no way one could score all Aces in such a huge subject, yet most of the us would not think twice taking up this course.

In the end of the day, my constant hope is that both Michelle and I will be able to get through this tough lesson and still remain together.

On another note, am counting down to the day I start work in the new company. Am pretty anxious since I've yet to get a drift of how things work in the new environment. One thing is for sure, I'm no longer indecisive about my decision to take up this new job. It is definitely a challenge awaiting me, we shall see who will yield in the end of it all.

Muahaha...

Well, Happy New Year to all! Was too busy with life and love the pass few weeks.

May all of you have a fruitful yet enjoyable year.

God bless...

Word of the Day...

Time to Write

Parsimonious:

1) Extreme care in spending money; reluctance to spend money unnecessarily
2) Excessively sparing or frugal.
3) Stingy

Oh... if any of you are wondering what in the world am I posting this word on my blog, erm it is because:

I just found out that there's actually a word such as this this morning while reading waiterrant's blog. It's been awhile since I've expanded my vocabs list, I do enjoy learning about languages very much, all those intriguing yet ever expanding and sophisticated vocabs, funny grammatical errors, and so forth.

Shall not drift too far off from topic with my over enthusiastic love for languages. It is a shame that my command in all the languages that I know of (Mandarin, B.M and Enlgish) are weak, imagine how fun it would be to be good at either one of them! I could write books, poems, stage play, articles! I could be a journalist, a writer, a reporter.

Aha... ok, time to work. Earth is calling out to me.

Ciaozoo.

Snapped...

Today I snapped at a colleague of mine who was just doing his job.

I snapped not at him but merely at the issues caused by partly my own lack of pro activeness when it comes to tasks beyond my work scope and mainly because of the company management's great ideas and great processes which inflicted much trouble and dis contentedness among the lower ranking staff ie: ME.

What ticked me off the most is not the part where us employees have to clean up the disaster created by a crazy yet innovative yet clearly doomed-to-fail changes imposed by the so called inexperienced upper management team. Don't try don't know, that is the reason or to me excuses that they would simply use when there are a mess. What ticked me off the most is when there are mega issues caused by one of these 'ideas' or 'changes' which we have advised against, they simply just place all the blame on us.

I hate it the most when they say :"You created this mess, I won't bear the consequences, please solve it by yourself". Leaving us hanging in mid air grabbing frantically for a life line.

Hmm... probably the dogs of the upper management are keeping their eyes out on vindictive posts like this one but at this point of time, I could not care less. It is tiresome when your ideas, your points your words doesn't get through. pfftt..

As much as I want to complain about them, in the same time I'm sure my management team should be facing such pressure from people above as well. It is a vicious cycle after all. Dog eat dog world?

Yet today's post is not about that, but about a colleague, a friend who've misunderstood my over 'enthusiastic' tone of voice as to bombard him when he comes to me for something that I remember not receiving or gave away during the month of September. I probably carries an 'defensive' aura when work mode is on.

I guess amidst all the problems that I face, I need to work on my attitude first. It has been awhile since I sat down and ponder upon my daily actions.

"Find the balance, find the balance..."

I think it is a good time now since I was brought to awareness by another good friend regarding issues involving these area. Since people involved does not want to present the issue before me and talk it through.

Zen mode begins... ohhmmm....

They are back!

Time : 10:38A.M.

Feeling rather happy now since Raymond informed me of a great news. Thanks dude!

My second family is coming back! Woot!

Not sure if this good news is announced to everybody or not so I shall refrain myself from sharing further details. But do share my excitement. At this point of time I'm pretty happy... It's been awhile since we kept in touch.

Well, trust a chinaman like me to plan or to keep in touch lar, it'll never happen. I hate that part of myself though. At least now you'll know that if I didn't contact you for a long time, it is not because you've been forgotten, it is just that my ability to strike a conversation or keep in touch are very much limited.

Woohoo... they are coming BACK!!!!

Alright, time to go back to work in the chilly server room located in Plaza VADS. I've actually done my part, waiting for my sensei to impart the second level of kungfu to me before I can proceed further.

Car installment period - 59 months - 1 and decreasing.

Its the weekend...

Its a Saturday, woke up slightly earlier than usual, don't have anything planned yet and too lazy to move about.

The next best thing to do is turn on the wireless, crawl back up to my bed, turn on the laptop and start surfing/downloading/chatting/blogging away.

It is sad that even though I've already been facing the laptop and the internet 5 days a week for work and yet on the weekends I've to come back to them for leisure as well. Sheesh, what have the people of this era turned into? Or is it just me?

Sounds pretty no life. Yet for the time being, I'm enjoying the state of solitude my room can provide. It is like swimming underwater where the world is just quiet and peaceful or up in the mountains where waterfalls are at and you can just sit back and think/ponder/reason about/with topics that you have no time for during the hassle of weekdays.

So much for creativity...

Timing is truly one of the key to any successful "business". I've tell this to a million people a million times and I guess even without me telling, it is rather obvious. Even with us knowing this fact, tons of things are beyond our control. Time like these makes you wonder would it be different if you've been a faithful disciple of God from the first place. But then again, God is not the big bully with the magnifying glass and we are not the ants inside the ant hills.

Ray of hope...

I've not given up. Even if it does not seem wise for me to continue the pursue, I'm going in head strong. As of now, clouds of uncertainty and bleakness surrounds me, yet I'll hold on to that faint ray and inch forward in life and in love.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not doing this blindly and I'm well aware of the consequences and obstacles involved. This will be a tough battle and a long one as well but no matter the results, no matter how this battle ends, it will only make me stronger and in the same time helped the damsel currently in distress to grow and obtain new characteristics which will help her a long way in life in the future.

I've not shared details about how we started and why we ended. Not going to. But if you ask me if all these are worth the effort, I can tell you it is not about the gains or losses. It is a person's life I'm dealing with, further more, a person whom I'm deeply still in love with. No matter the price, I'm willing to pay.

In the past, I've had many regrets in relationships, and all I can do about the past was "what if", "how could if", "it could be good if"..."IF"s... Not this time. No more "IF"s but a solid and firm "I've done all I could at it just didn't work out". I'm sure some of you will be able to recognize how I feel right now.

When all these goes to past, I'm sure I'll have another good topic to blog about. Take it as a life's lesson? I guess I'm not that boring a guy after all.

Heh...

Enjoy the weekends. Oh and Happy Halloween.

Single Yet Again

Time: 5:05 A.M.

After A month of complicated encounter, I'm single again.

However, not quite available at the moment.

The girl that I've been into so much have requested a time out and as a gentleman, any request from a lady should be fulfilled. Many sincere blessings to her future endeavours.

Then again, not like we have really started in the first place. Probably my fault for being an eager beaver. Heh... nope, I did not do something naughty if some of you might be thinking what the "eager" in the beaver is for.

Well, I hope in the midst of all these, what we have/had would be more than just "teehee I like you you like me". If not then it would not be worth the effort and time spent.

Don't ask me what happened when you see me, really. I'm still in the mood of playing the role of a heart broken chap. So, most probably I won't be bringing my most sensible side along these few hours, months, weeks. No idea how long will it take.

With this much of energy and passion left from the so called relationship, best to divert it into my job since currently I'm not feeling too secure about my role in the department lately. That is another different ball game altogehter, will share more about that in the future posts.

As for now, at 5:57 A.M., after having a tug of war with myself the entire night, I'm able to partially detach my wuss side and let go of her to go her own ways. Not like I have the choice but hey, it is my blog and it is my story.

It is sure going to be painful these few days especially on weekends when there's nothing much to do. The wandering mind is the devil's playground eh?

God, as disqualified as I am to you as a servant and a son, do watch over me and in this case, her as well. I'm still greatly in love with her no matter what the circumstances are. Come what may.

One day... one day... I hope to see that for once in my life, a beautiful relationship will be brought before me according to the desire of my heart. Greedy huh me? :)

Heading to office now, can't sleep anyway so work away I shall in 6:05 in the morning.

Ciaozoo.

The Day My Surprise Plan Backfired

Time : 6:05 P.M.

I’ve actually spent the entire day planning how to give my beloved a surprise on the 28th since she took leave. I am not really good at doing all these organizing, I’m pretty proud of what I’ve came up with.

The plan was to cook for her when I visit her on the 28th morning. My debut cooking and surprise act. Pretty nifty huh?

After having a few hours crash course “learn how to cook” online and purchasing groceries for the selected menu of the day, it dawned upon me that it would be even more surprising for me to drop by later tonight without her knowing.

The expression on her face should be priceless and I’m sure she will definitely be touched by my careful and well prepared plan since she loves surprises alot. Plus, she will be out with her friend (God brother) for a movie so I would roughly know when she will be back since she’s going to message me.

Everything seems pretty fine huh? Well…

An hour ago, she messaged me and told me that her sister (God sister) will be staying with her tomrrow as well so I couldn’t go over.

Bam! Brick wall ahead…

So the surprise plan backfired in the end. I guess I’ll be having a “good” time explaining to my mom what are those groceries for. But groceries I’m sure I can think of something but roses and red wine? Hmm… I’ll think of an excuse later since parents are not at home for the time being.

Need to get rid of them some how. It’s Deepavali and there’s like tons of open houses around… I guess I’ll have a few extra good neighbors and some todi kakis.

Oh well… Looks like I’m going to cancel tomorrow’s leave and head back to work again. This is what I’ve signed up for and I guess I should not complain.

Well dear, don’t blame me for not being a good “best friend” yeah?

Then again, probably you’ve been saved from a terrible food poisoning. With my cooking skills, anything is possible. Heh…

Ciazoo…

p.s : I downloaded High School Musicals 2 for you. So we can watch the third one in the cinema if you want to.

Lunch with The Ladies

Had a quite satisfying lunch today.

Went Esquire Kitchen with the ladies (Val, Ann) today. They have set lunches for working classes nowadays. Just RM 9.90 and you get either noodles/rice tagged with dumplings and biscuits/soup (Lotus Seed Soup/Chicken Feet Soup/Pear Soup or something like that)

Tasty and cheap. Why not? I think by far the most value for money and taste set lunches available in 1 Utama.

Back to the people.

I think in the two years and few months that I've been with the Company, this is the first time three of us sat down together and have a relaxed lunch having conversations more than 5 minutes long. 2nd time I had lunch with Val, my church senior leader. Can you believe that? She is that busy.

That could probably be the reason why every time we manage to meet up it is fun to catch up. Updated each other briefly on work, relationships and anything under the sun.

Feedmelah.com go check it out. Ann and her friends started it. The rough idea was that to introduce good food to everyone. I think it is good because hardly can find any good places to dine on our own especially if we don't travel much.

They just started so hold the critics and give them space and time to grow peeps. Plus Ann will be one of the editors/writers/food critic so be nice to her.

Time to work. Network is pretty slow at the moment, can't really do my tasks. Argh...

Hungry and Giddy

Time : 12:27P.M

Currently sitting in the icy cold office in Plaza Vads waiting for a call before heading out for lunch.

What should I have today?

Anyhow, will be here for quite awhile since there are around 90 over IP phones to be distributed out within the building. All the phones are now in their tombs waiting to be revived by me - their necromancer. Kinda cool eh... giving a slightest lively description to a germs infested phones long pass their age. Trust me, these phones are ancient. Comparing to the tons of new models that the company have made thus far, that is.

It will probably take about a couple of hours before I am done here. Oh boy, the parking fees is going to bite. Good thing there's something called claims, the person who came up with that idea should be rewarded with a Coca-Cola. Yup, coca-cola. I don't like Pepsi that much. Aha... what nonsense talking me.

Pretty hungry at the moment but my beloved have not called so she's not done with her busy meetings yet. Or she forgotten she promised to have lunch with me? Oh no...

If she does, no more surprises for her. Erm, maybe not to that extent I suppose. Not that I'll really get angry at her for forgetting lunch dates anyway. Come to think of it, I wonder if there's anything that she does that will really tick me off. For the time being, can't think of any. We'll see.

Waterfalls

Kanching Waterfalls! Here I come!

Going there tomorrow. Wait, let me see if I can find any pics online.

10 minutes later...

Nope, all the pictures are not of any quality. So i decided to randomly choose one. Wohoo... leaving from metal's place at 8 A.M.

Syucks lar I don't have enough sleep this week... sigh...

Depature and New Beginning

Time: 2:03A.M.

A very good friend of mine (Yangs) will be going off for pilot "boot camp" later today.

The whole course will take about 2 years. Not that we can't visit him throughout this 2 years, but it just hit me that things will be slightly different then on. Less one person to hang out with. The fun level of gatherings would probably be lessen by quite some degree.

I guess that is part of life? People come people go. Whether if one can prolong or maintain a friendship or boy-girl relationship depends solely on how much effort and how much one willing to sacrifice to make things work. I always believe that as much as the percentage of give and take should be equal to make a any sort of relationship works, there will always be parties that should be the instigator of activities since they have certain influential level in their invitation.

Anyhow, all the best to this good friend of mine and lets meet up when the time is right. We will all be drinking and merry like old times.

On another note, was wondering if I should share this in public or not since things are much more complicated than it sounds, oh well... I'm always the safe and steady type, but I guess it doesn't hurt once in awhile to be bold huh?

Alright, the thing to announce is that I finally found myself a girl worthy of my loyalty. Much complications are yet to be dealt with at the moment, I myself is not too sure how are things going to work out but like what Metal says :"Be a man, choose and take on what ever comes after that" well, those weren't his exact words but I'm a chinapek by nature, it wont feel right if I don't make it sound macho.

Well, went to church on Saturday for a concert, not too sure if it was suppose to be a rally, doesn't feel like it so I guess it is not. Joe's band (Darren, Raymond and James) were having their album launch if not mistaken. Sorry for the uncertainties, I seriously have no idea how to label the event.

Good to be back to where I belong. Yet things will be different this time, since I'm no longer a leader. Have to learn how to be just a regular church goer from start.

I don't feel fit to start jumping into serving HIM again. Nope, not spiritually nor mentally. Too many messed up ends that needs to be closed, however, I'm proud to be a struggling Christian nevertheless. Won't change the fact that God is still part of my life, but only wonder if I am still part of HIS plan.

*Deep thought mode*

Alright, time to sleep. It is rather tiring you know to write an emo post at such wee hours.

Ciaozoo.

Juno

Finally watched Juno today.

Twice.

In a day.

That was how facinated I am with the movie.

This is the first movie and so far the only movie that I've watched twice in a day.

The movie is just great. Especially the conversation and soundtrack.

Ellen Page pulls the role perfectly. Despite the pregnant part, overall this Juno character is to die for. I mean, how cool can a girl get? Rocker chic with an in-your-face attitude yet she is rational in most cases and not too stubborn at all.

Juno's parents are also probably the coolest parents on earth. Can you find any other calm and supportive parents such as them? Not in a million years.

Yet probably in the end, everybody might just go :" It's only a movie and people like these only exists in the movie."

Maybe that is true, but I'm giving probability the benefit of the doubt. There might be some wild chances that such parents, or such girl can exists.

Just not for me I guess.

Speaking of which, parents visited my grandparents last Saturday. Grandpa actually told them to put some pressure on me in areas involving a complicated life form known as woman. The order was for me to get hooked fast so that I can introduce her to them.

Can't blame them since they are aging fast. Time seems to be less and less grasp-able as humans grow older. Well, if only relationships are as easy as fishing, gladly yet sadly it is not.

It's 2:24 P.M.

Time to sleep. Work comes in again tomorrow. Even though there are much progression in terms of obtaining knowledge and gaining experience, it is rather worrisome since I'm placed in an awkward position that is hard to explain with words. However, I am liking what I am doing currently, so no complaints as yet.

Have another great week ahead you wonderfull readers.

recent events

Bukit Tabur

I am quite surprised when a I find that people do still come here once in a blue moon. If that is the case I think I will need to choose my post wisely.

If not, I might get into trouble. Unnecessary ones especially.

As to date, I have done quite some activities with my friends through out the weeks.

Went Bukit Tabur for a hike with Metal, Yangs and Matt last Saturday. The hike was more than what Matt and I bargained for. Apparently, climbing up rocks with no railing on the sides which a slip of hand or foot and you will end up dead is not considered as dangerous for Metal. Pffttt...

But it was great fun nontheless. The company was good, the workout was good, the view was muy bien (means very good) except for the returning journey. Almost had my knee dislocated due to the nasty terrain.

After that, had a couple of drinking session with the usual guys.

Then lunch with the busy Sarah Lim. Yes, Sarah Lim, you might be thinking " You serious? The Sarah Lim who have tons of activities going on?" Yes I am serious.

Haha... exaggerating but oh well, thanks for buying lunch Sarah. Hope the next meet up is not a year from now. Sheesh...

Time to go now, want to spend some time with my parents.

Adeu.

restless

by Don Hogan Charles/The New York Times

Am currently not contented anymore with what I know, what I have and what I am doing.

The overwhelming feeling to achieve more in my career and to challenge greater heights have made my stomach toss and turn.

The level of stressed that comes with this dissatisfaction makes me want to throw up. And it felt like I'm about to do that every time I'm made to do mundane and brainless tasks.

Especially when arrogant yet incapable person are promoted to be managers treating us the service personnel like a second hand jerk offs fumes my agitation. Logic no longer applies when these insolent fools take over. They just want to show who is in charge yet they totally suck at what they do.

Even though I'm risking myself sounding like one of these arrogant and incapable working machines, yet I have had to purge this foreign and uncomfortable entity out of my system. Else, I would probably throw up here and now having the unfair scenarios kept looping in my mind.

Heck... when is my opportunity going to come? I want it bad, I want it now!

pffftttt... screw the corrupted system. I'm running renegade...

... while I sleep.

Useless eh? In the end, have still to give in to worldly ways for survival sake. Or maybe I am just that powerless and incapable to begin with.

Either way, soy un rebelde...

ése es todo para los lectores ahora estimados .

Confused

For those who have been reading the newspapers or following the news in the country diligently, I'm am very sure by now you are well aware of how messed up our country's legal system is.

For a guy who spew rubbish that caused Malaysian to feel uncomfortable due to the racist context, all he had was a 3 years suspension from joining a political party.

As for the reporter who reported the exact words from such a fucking asshole (do pardon my language, I am very very pissed now), she get detained by ISA without prior court notice, and newspapers like The Sun, Sin Chew Jit Poh, and so forth are being sent warning letters for publishing what? The truth?

Now, in other normal country, the police, the anti bribe department, the national security department are all being monitored by the law and of course the people. Because in the end of the day, we tax payers are the ones who pay them for their services in order to safe guard the welfare of the people.

So now, in Malaysia, who are the ones that are monitoring the judiciary system and all the similar law enforcement sectors ? We the people (even though it is quite wrong because among us people, there are some just too bloody stupid to think for themselves) or political leaders?

Hmm, I wonder.

Well, I have no idea what will happened to me once I publish this post, but in the end of the day, I am just addressing these questions to whoever capable in answering.

Do educate me if you have a better view on how all these works in this country, because I have no idea who are the ones in the country that are appointed and paid to take care of the welfare of us Malaysians anymore.