Snapped...

Today I snapped at a colleague of mine who was just doing his job.

I snapped not at him but merely at the issues caused by partly my own lack of pro activeness when it comes to tasks beyond my work scope and mainly because of the company management's great ideas and great processes which inflicted much trouble and dis contentedness among the lower ranking staff ie: ME.

What ticked me off the most is not the part where us employees have to clean up the disaster created by a crazy yet innovative yet clearly doomed-to-fail changes imposed by the so called inexperienced upper management team. Don't try don't know, that is the reason or to me excuses that they would simply use when there are a mess. What ticked me off the most is when there are mega issues caused by one of these 'ideas' or 'changes' which we have advised against, they simply just place all the blame on us.

I hate it the most when they say :"You created this mess, I won't bear the consequences, please solve it by yourself". Leaving us hanging in mid air grabbing frantically for a life line.

Hmm... probably the dogs of the upper management are keeping their eyes out on vindictive posts like this one but at this point of time, I could not care less. It is tiresome when your ideas, your points your words doesn't get through. pfftt..

As much as I want to complain about them, in the same time I'm sure my management team should be facing such pressure from people above as well. It is a vicious cycle after all. Dog eat dog world?

Yet today's post is not about that, but about a colleague, a friend who've misunderstood my over 'enthusiastic' tone of voice as to bombard him when he comes to me for something that I remember not receiving or gave away during the month of September. I probably carries an 'defensive' aura when work mode is on.

I guess amidst all the problems that I face, I need to work on my attitude first. It has been awhile since I sat down and ponder upon my daily actions.

"Find the balance, find the balance..."

I think it is a good time now since I was brought to awareness by another good friend regarding issues involving these area. Since people involved does not want to present the issue before me and talk it through.

Zen mode begins... ohhmmm....

They are back!

Time : 10:38A.M.

Feeling rather happy now since Raymond informed me of a great news. Thanks dude!

My second family is coming back! Woot!

Not sure if this good news is announced to everybody or not so I shall refrain myself from sharing further details. But do share my excitement. At this point of time I'm pretty happy... It's been awhile since we kept in touch.

Well, trust a chinaman like me to plan or to keep in touch lar, it'll never happen. I hate that part of myself though. At least now you'll know that if I didn't contact you for a long time, it is not because you've been forgotten, it is just that my ability to strike a conversation or keep in touch are very much limited.

Woohoo... they are coming BACK!!!!

Alright, time to go back to work in the chilly server room located in Plaza VADS. I've actually done my part, waiting for my sensei to impart the second level of kungfu to me before I can proceed further.

Car installment period - 59 months - 1 and decreasing.

Its the weekend...

Its a Saturday, woke up slightly earlier than usual, don't have anything planned yet and too lazy to move about.

The next best thing to do is turn on the wireless, crawl back up to my bed, turn on the laptop and start surfing/downloading/chatting/blogging away.

It is sad that even though I've already been facing the laptop and the internet 5 days a week for work and yet on the weekends I've to come back to them for leisure as well. Sheesh, what have the people of this era turned into? Or is it just me?

Sounds pretty no life. Yet for the time being, I'm enjoying the state of solitude my room can provide. It is like swimming underwater where the world is just quiet and peaceful or up in the mountains where waterfalls are at and you can just sit back and think/ponder/reason about/with topics that you have no time for during the hassle of weekdays.

So much for creativity...

Timing is truly one of the key to any successful "business". I've tell this to a million people a million times and I guess even without me telling, it is rather obvious. Even with us knowing this fact, tons of things are beyond our control. Time like these makes you wonder would it be different if you've been a faithful disciple of God from the first place. But then again, God is not the big bully with the magnifying glass and we are not the ants inside the ant hills.

Ray of hope...

I've not given up. Even if it does not seem wise for me to continue the pursue, I'm going in head strong. As of now, clouds of uncertainty and bleakness surrounds me, yet I'll hold on to that faint ray and inch forward in life and in love.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not doing this blindly and I'm well aware of the consequences and obstacles involved. This will be a tough battle and a long one as well but no matter the results, no matter how this battle ends, it will only make me stronger and in the same time helped the damsel currently in distress to grow and obtain new characteristics which will help her a long way in life in the future.

I've not shared details about how we started and why we ended. Not going to. But if you ask me if all these are worth the effort, I can tell you it is not about the gains or losses. It is a person's life I'm dealing with, further more, a person whom I'm deeply still in love with. No matter the price, I'm willing to pay.

In the past, I've had many regrets in relationships, and all I can do about the past was "what if", "how could if", "it could be good if"..."IF"s... Not this time. No more "IF"s but a solid and firm "I've done all I could at it just didn't work out". I'm sure some of you will be able to recognize how I feel right now.

When all these goes to past, I'm sure I'll have another good topic to blog about. Take it as a life's lesson? I guess I'm not that boring a guy after all.

Heh...

Enjoy the weekends. Oh and Happy Halloween.