The guy who came up with the phrase

"Life is pain" sure have his fair share of painful experience.

The guy who came up with the phrase

"Life goes one" is surely an optimist.

But the guy who came up with the phrase

"Give Life the Second Half of the Peace Sign" well bugger him cos I can't stop doing that now.

p/s: Well... it's just an expression, it doesn't really have to be a guy who came up with all those.

"To know the truth and be ignorant to it means you are but a fool,

The overwhelming pain that a fool bear is shockingly everlasting,

Till you snap out of denial and wishful thinking,

Embrace those aches and pain with perseverance,

Maybe just one day you might get lucky and be blessed undeservingly,

For we still have Him."

-Siah-

Fool signing off...

"I'm up on cloud nine...

if only times like today will last forever...

then there's nothing to vent about...

but it's only wishful thinking...

yet I'm grateful for the time given for me to spend in such a luxurious way...

Thank you God...

You are totally awesome beyond words..."

That's what I'm thinking at the moment. But I think I'm having a headache cos of the rain and lack of sleep.

Lover boy signing off...

Does God allow some to be weaker than others for a reason? Maybe the weakers ones are suppose to weak because they can't handle the change that will be brought by excellence and causing them to fall short of His glory.

I'm not too sure. I mean, the old me under any circumstances would most of the time hold my tongue or wouldn't really be bothered by oppression because am just too engulfed with my self-pity due to low self esteem. Most of the time I would feel unworthy and would not speak up if my life depends on it. Definitely I would not go public after I get mistreated since I would probably think that it's my fault even though it's obviously not.

But now, I still think lowly of myself, unworthy of anything good. Basically I still short change myself while letting self pity to eat me alive. Yet there is this part of me which tells me there are just times where I need to fight back. Evidently, my tolerance for BS that I get from others have slowly diminishing and I learnt how to retaliate in a less subtle way.

I can't help but to think, have I been like this since long ago or the change just took place recently. If it is not a recent change and I only noticed it now then does it mean that I've gain a certain level of maturity as I grow in age?

It bugs me to the core when people that don't know me starts to lecture me about me. When people do that, the world seems to go into slow motion and every single word that comes out of their mouth seems to have like this muddy and groggy effect.

Well, couldn't do much about it now. It's up to me to rise above my current self.

Office have never been so quite, I guess because tommorrow is raya. Well at least it gives me time to reflect and ponder.

OK... didn't go to hear some estrogen man (now i know the spelling thanks to metal) whine and brags for deepavali, smart thing to do isn't it? Knowing me, I would probably step on some wrong foot and having the cheer squads bashing me up for mocking their sissy mascot.

But the gathering with the guys later that day was absolutely more than fun. It's like just chilling out while just talking about practically everything, and if not for the tipsy turvy effect, really do wish that it lasted longer.

Went to church yesterday after such long absenty from the good people community, finding it harder mingle around in church nowadays. You will have suddenly some senior leaders that you have not been talking to walks up to you and say:"Look into my eyes" I'm like WTH?! Gay or what? If it was a joke then it would be dodgy but still quite ok, but it doubt it was. Or either that, you'll have people come screaming at you while are you enjoying yourself because of something you didn't do. Duno, I'm an easy target to yell at? It's like, come lets yell at kim siah and see his reaction just for fun. Whoopy...

Hmm... I guess I'm suppose to tremble and fear the stare of a pair of righteous eyes or be super patient so that when people yell at me for no reasons at all I could just keep quite and not ask the other party to Foff. Nah not really, am just being a jerk. Haha... But whatever it is, it's still good to see my Pastors and some of my friends again.

Its probably not wise for me to have such entry in my blog but won't be bothered. I darn hate people that spoils my day for no reason. Probably I need to learn how to be more humble and patient huh?

Well, life goes on, I was ticked, I vent, I move on. The concequences? For me to bear.

Nights folks. Time to go to bed. Riot kid out...

Deepavali and Hari Raya are here, what does these two celebrations got to do with me? Holiday! Finally a break, but bummer is me that I have to get back to work on Monday and then have another two days holiday again during the week. Couldn't afford to take any leave because saving it up all for camp.

What to do in the Deepavali morning you ask me, well I don't know about you but my friend metal think it was a good idea to jog. So thinking that I have nothing to loose, a car with four dudes (metal, me, koala, leoric) in it went all the way to Bukit Jalil Park for a morning jog. Nice park, nice view, and according to metal, nice free outdoor gym.

Everything was fine till metal decided to jog all the way up to the hill top. For goodness sakes, why do people make such steep jogging tracks? Well, failed at first attempt so in the end just walked all the way up. I bet I saw one aunty staring at me with a smirk as though she is saying :"Youngsters nowadays are such softies" as she jog all the way up with no sign of struggles. Bad for the ego...

Bah... who cares if I can jog up a steep slope or not. I'm sure I'm better than her son.

But the jog was refreshing, further more it is fun to hang out with the guys. With our current schedule, getting together to do some activities are like luxury. You have koala with his whip training, he is going to be a lion tamer you see, his ambition since young. I think the whipping from his father during his childhood must have caused him to so eagerly decided upon this special profession. Then you have leoric, well I can't really reveal his job scope. It would get him into trouble. All I can say is, he works in a credit company and he "deals" with people that borrow money from the company. And as for metal? Well, he is all out to live life to the fullest. Currently he is under some training program, if the training is successfull, he'll be having his own mob group.

Ah! seeing all of them fulfilling their ambitions and dreams, I kinda feel little... why? Because all I do now is handling a delivery counter in some run down computer shop.

Oh! not to forget yangalinghams... he is currently in China recruiting more chinese to work in his new sweat shop. Location I can't tell you but if you need some shirts or pants sewed, I think I can hook you up with him.

That's all for today. Time for Deepavali dinner in a friend's place. Sigh... 1 hour of hearing some astrogen filled faggot whine about life.

Till I post again,

Celebrate Deeparaya and go play far far.

Artist: Toploader
Title: Dancing in the Moonlight

We get it on most every night
When that moon is big and bright
Its a supernatural delight
Everybodys dancing in the moonlight

Everybody here is out of sight
They dont bark and they dont bite
They keep things loose they keep it tight
Everybodys dancing in the moonlight

Dancing in the moonlight
Everybodys feeling warm and bright
Its such a fine and natural sight
Everybodys dancing in the moonlight

We like our fun and we never fight
You cant dance and stay uptight
Its a supernatural delight
Everybody was dancing in the moonlight

Dancing in the moonlight
Everybodys feeling warm and bright
Its such a fine and natural sight
Everybodys dancing in the moonlight

We get it on most every night
And when that moon is big and bright
Its a supernatural delight
Everybodys dancing in the moonlight

Dancing in the moonlight
Everybodys feeling warm and bright
Its such a fine and natural sight
Everybodys dancing in the moonlight

---------------------------------------

Wah, super like this song. :) Been playing it in my office for the pass 2 days. Same song on repeat mode. Aha... colleagues all went nuts and nearly force shutdown my pc... LOL...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to:

NATHANIEL TENG TIEN MING

Thanks for everything bro, you are but a blessings to alot of people. Take care Mr.Oracle. :)

I think the coming month my pay will be very little since I don't plan to work OT that much. Too costly on my health. Many people been telling me I have look more and more rugged and weak... I think it is good that I just chill for this month and enjoy myself. Ah, going home at 6 or even go for a movie would be a bliss.

Was thinking about my graduation the other day, and now only it hit me that even though to the world degree nowadays worth nothing more than a piece of toilet paper, but to the family of a degree holder, it brings much pride and honor to the family name because come to think of it, not many people are able to get a cert from two ang mohs.

Having understanding that, I suddenly felt really bad because my parents did not attend my graduation ceremony and they are robbed from feeling proud of their son for at least one moment in their lifes. The reason why they didn't go because I told them not to due to the hassle of having to drive all the way to KL and not knowing the where the place is and stuff liddet... I'm wondering if I made a right decision when I tell them not to attend.

Oh well... I have already graduated and the ceremony is history, I guess I will have to give them another moment to be proud of me. Hope that will happen.

I am sick again... urgh...