Hello from Singapore.

I'm writing this down in an company apartment belongs to a friend in Singapore.

Just had an interview and I have no confidence at all if I shall be employed.

But having all that said, Singapore is a place where I want to work and grow my career in.

The country's system might not be perfect. There are a lot of details that within this short amount of time I've been here that I definitely failed to realize. However, this place intrigues me.

My brain have not been functioning at this capacity for awhile now. The passion to do well in life once again started to burn.

Attempts shall be continuously made so that I can land a job in Singapore. Or any other country for the matter.

Being away from comfort zone really do changes things. With limited resources, a person grows much more faster. When you have your own to depend on, you can only make it. That would be the only choice.

I can but only wait for the call of good news from the company. It is time to diversify and venture out to another field.

I'm looking for a company and a place that recognizes my potentials and would willing to trust in my capacity.

God, I really need your divine intervention on this one.

2011. Happy New Year

Aging is such an immovable force.

I can only but grow older by the years watching youth fade away so as my energy diminishing little by little.

Time became harder to grasp as years gone by, was so alarmed by it that I can't help but wanting to slow everything down, hoping to gain control of time. I figured, if I were to plan and to live life as meaningful and purposeful as possible, I could some how slow time down.

Achievements in life, now I know the significance. I understand why are they important. Not to prove to anyone about my ability, but rather to use them to leave a dent in this course of life. As a marker, a proof that I've once lived through my youth. That I was once young before.

Rather funny having this post coming from someone who have not even hit 27 years of age. Yet inside of me, I felt I've lived through decades of this journey called life. Experiencing the ups and downs that some could never imagine of going through.

Still trying to make a spot for myself in this place called life.

Rushed through most moments in life failing to embrace each and every emotions and feelings before letting them fade away. Regrets are mostly what I have in my pocket. However, giving up is not likely.

I don't give up. At least not that easily. So in this year 2011, lets make some changes.

Lets make this year slightly different than those that have passed.

God, I need all the help I can get from above.

In all those elements found in life may it be love, wealth, health and so forth, help me to make a difference in myself. Presenting to my loved ones a better me.

I can but only do all I can within my insignificant capability and to pray for divine intervention.

Happy new year 2011. Here goes...

Challenging year ahead

For the coming 1 year, it is really going to be a struggle for me.

I'm not one who can hide feelings well nor can I do things that are against how I really feel constantly for too long.

Yet if this is what it takes, I really do think it is worth it.

There is no guarantee to the outcome. Yet I would choose to believe whatever happens, even though it is my fleshly desires that are making the decisions, God will somehow set the destination right.

How ever much I would deviate from the intended course that God wanted me to (am not saying I am already deviating or will be deviating) I trust in His constant guidance.

My only prayer is that I come out a better person loving and fearing God more, and at the same time, I can bring a special person back to His kingdom through His divine intervention.

Love is something that I know not very well of. Hence wait is the only thing left for me to do. Care and concerns will be poured out to an acceptable extent.

To the special person who will be reading this in due time, do whatever it takes to go back to God. A relationship with Him is worth any struggles and sacrifice for His grace and mercy are ever new and He shall be the only pillar, the only rock foundation that will not waver when we need strength and comfort in times of need. Do not wait any longer. We really wouldn't know when will we meet our end for this portion of life.

There are no substances nor relationships that could replace Him. Do not look at wrong places to fill the emptiness within you for only He could do that.

My prayer is that your own convictions will be strong enough to spur you back to God again and in the same time start visiting churches and find one which you can confide in and learn more of His word and teachings.

Well its almost 2 a.m. I better head home from office. Long day ahead tomorrow and I believe I need the extra hours of rest.

Was it too fast or was it love?

"Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two."
-St. Augustine

alwaysbettertousebrain...

Spent the night a friend's place trying to ease the job load.

Went through a long night of manual typing, dozing off in between and gave myself a very very very very stiff neck during the process and finally manage to finish tons of repetitive key jamming actions.

Little that I know, there are actually easier ways to do them without having to put myself through the agony if I were to just use a little bit of thought into it.

Felt ever so silly at this point.

macbeth

macbeth.

poor macbeth. became a regicide just to be killed in return. he was nothing but yet another sacrifice for a bigger play. but was it all a blame on fate or destiny? or was it because he took seriously the words of 3 witches that came out of no where?

would things play out differently?

and lady macbeth, if her husband did not tell her about what the witches have said, then would she be saved from a tragic death?

it is a sad story.

makes you ponder, to achieve greatness, how far would you willing to sacrifice?

what would you trade for riches, power, success and fame?

would you jeopardize your family's safety?

would you jeopardize what is right?

would you be like adam and eve and give in to tempting ideas and words and then having the rest of the decendants paying for their sins?

would that greatness or the satisfaction of getting the "throne" be worthy of all these?

to each their own.

as for me, nothing beats family time, nothing beats being there for your loved ones when they are in need, no greatness is greater than being capable and available to be there to take care and accompany your family.

well, that is just me.

oneofthosesighdays

as i am constantly trying to get my family out of the lower income kais pagi makan pagi state and heading no where, i went home to find myself a surprise.

a new second hand car. wow, look at how contradictory the sentence phrase new second hand car is.

no i didn't buy a car, but my dad did. but we already have a used car? so now we ended up having 5 cars at home. well 3 cars, 1 truck (belongs to dad's company) and a van.

reason for buying the car? so that my sister can drive to college and my mom doesn't have to fetch her up and down with the existing car. wait a minute, there seems to be an issue here. the thing is, buy a second hand car to replace another second hand car that is still functional. hmm...

spent 20+ thousand for a 3 years old Atos. good buy or not, as much as i want to be supportive of my parents decision, the heck my sister just can't drive the manual which i've been driving for umpteen years? reasons there are many, few of them are 1) its manual 2) its hard to drive since no power steering 3) etc... bla bla bla.

but have it occurred to any of them, beggars don't choose?

ok we are not beggars, we probably can afford a 20+ thousand new second hand car. but... to buy it now? gah... and in cash. OMG. my dad just cut himself 20+ thousand loose. which he could use it for investment. not something like a new second hand car. furthermore my mom and sister didn't really complain about not having a car and if mom is tired and sick of fetching my sister around then its up to my sister to suck it up and drive the old charade until she can afford to pay for installment.

why is it that they don't understand how much of waste it is to dump 20+ thousand for a used car! GOSH.

not pissed at any of my family members but more of the idea of spending 20+ thousand on a piece of used crap that will deficit by the seconds.

sigh the frustration! do they even know how long they can survive with the 20+ thousand if in future there is any mishaps? darn it...

i'm throwing in the towel for now.

sorry for the rant. but i have to. i need to. if only there is a certain someone who would just give me a pat on the back or maybe even a hug. gah...

cant wait till this saturday.